Emu vs Kiwi

[-KIWI-]

how do you know when a plane load of poms has landed in auzzie or nz


10 minuites after the motors been shut off you can still hear winning commin from the plane

general kiwi
2 i c to supreme comander the honourable mightyEMU

[Effie C]

Kiwi Joke

On a tour in Australia, the Pope took a few days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing an All Blacks rugby jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched in horror, a speedboat pulled up with three men wearing Wallabies rugby jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while the other two reached out and pulled the blue semiconscious All Blacks fan from the water.

Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat. Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I heard that there were some bitter hatred between Australian and New Zealand rugby fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "who was that?"

"It was the Pope" one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well" the harpooner said, "he may have access to God and his wisdom, but he doesn't know shit about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up OK or do we need to get another one?"

John M

[customFC]

Ok, here's a pic of a Kiwi at a party with his girlfriend.

Regards
Alex

[-KIWI-]

custom fc is that u hangin arround in the back ground ??

[Phantom]

If that sheep was ouside , that kiwi wpold be on a ride on lawn mower
                               The Phantom

[HARKO]

Three mates were sitting in a pub having a beer .
One mate (An Aussie) Pikes up and says.

Oy mates you would not bloody believe what showed up in me kids bag this arvie  ,"A bloody bottla plonk" And I didnt even know she drank.

So the Englishmen retaliates
Well I assure you squire my beloved daughter meandered in from school the other day with a blinkin "Packet of ciggarettes" in her port   ,And I didnt even know she smoked.

Kimon fellas Says the Kiwi mate.
My little girl had a packet of condoms in her backpack last week and "I didnt even know she had a PENIS"

[JB]

Supreme court case NZ
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama last week when
he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of the boy. The
boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge awarded
custody to his aunt. The boy confirmed that his aunt beat him more than his
parents and refused to live there. When the judge suggested that he live
with his grandparents the boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone.
The judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who should have custody of
him. Custody was granted to the All Black rugby team this morning as the boy
firmly believes that they are not capable of beating anyone.

[-KIWI-]

um i have to agree with that

[Effie C]

Supreme court case NZ
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama last week when
he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of the boy. The
boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge awarded
custody to his aunt. The boy confirmed that his aunt beat him more than his
parents and refused to live there. When the judge suggested that he live
with his grandparents the boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone.
The judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who should have custody of
him. Custody was granted to the All Black rugby team this morning as the boy
firmly believes that they are not capable of beating anyone.

Strange
Heard the same joke on the radio on Friday but they said the Wallabies, have not heard that announcer yet this week

John M

[slim]

WELL, WELL, The Kiwis certainly have quitened down quickly,,  Trying to forget something are we ?   ARENT there any POMS out there we can get stuck into ,, or are you POMS already Hiding !  GO THE MIGHTY WALLABIES................................  Only bad thing is its not a very good drinking day in Sydney, Its pissing down  ,, OH WELL , Ill have to find a pub or club with no Air conditioner.

[knickers]

Whaaaaa  Hooooooooo
Australia 17  England 20


Hello - Emu, Slim, Sarge, are you out there?

Kiwi !!!  do you think do we need to send out a search party

[Effie C]

Kiwi's also know as south sea pommies
John M

[craiga]

OK well done to the Pommies. They probably deserve to win something after all these years.

World Cup position check:

1. England
2. Australia
3. New Zealand

Still looks like you finished behind us Aussies, and two spots behind your new friends.

Don't worry about sending out a search party to find those three blokes, how about you start looking for a new coach, that'll keep you busy for a while

Cheers,

Craig (Rugby Union and Pommy hater)

[-KIWI-]

to tell you the truth rugby bores me to tears give me car racing any day
kiwi fc ek never a rugby supporter & lover of car racing

GO HOLDEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[-KIWI-]

> Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the
> "Axis of Evil," Libya,
> China and Syria today announced that they had formed
> the "Axis of Just as
> Evil," which they said would be more evil than that
> stupid Iran-Iraq-North
> Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of
> the Union address.
>
>
> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed
> the new Axis as having,
> for starters, a really dumb name.     "Right.  They
> are just as evil . . .
> in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim
> Jong-il.  "Everybody
> knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil
> . . .  we're the best."
>
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
> being excluded, although
> they conceded they did ask if they could join the
> Axis of Evil.  "They told
> us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
> al-Assad. "An axis can't have
> more than three countries," explained Iraqi
> President Saddam Hussein. "This
> is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you
> had Germany, Italy, and
> Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three,
> and a secret handshake.
> Ours is wickedly cool."
>
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil
> declaration was swift, as
> within minutes, France surrendered.
> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain
> triumvirate status in what
> has become a game of geopolitical chairs.
> Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had
> formed the "Axis of Somewhat
> Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and
> Myanmar in the "Axis of
> Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia and
> Russia established the
> "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally
> Disagreeable."
>
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the
> desirable clubs filling up,
> Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be
> called the "Axis of
> Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't
> Be Asked to Host the
> Olympics".
>
> Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of
> Nations That Are Actually
> Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts
> About America,"
>
> while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established
> the "Axis of Countries
> That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick."
>
> "That's not a threat, really, just something we like
> to do," said Scottish
> Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
>
> While wondering if the other nations of the world
> weren't perhaps making fun
> of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most
> axis, although he rejected
> the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose
> Names End in 'Guay,"
> accusing one of its members of filing a false
> application.  Officials from
> Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
>
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join
> any Axis, but privately
> world leaders said that's only because no one asked
> them.
>
> __________________________________________________________________
>
> Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile
> in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them,
> you're a
> mile away and you have their shoes.
> __________________________________________________________________
>
>

[slim]

I will never Hide from the FACT that Im a PROUD AUSSIE, WIN OR LOSE..... And we fought to the bitter End as All AUSSIES do ,,, WELL done to the POMS ,, BUT we just won the Rugby League ASHES 3 - zip...    And I cant understand Rugby Onion anyway...      GREAT EFFORT WALLABIES .... BETTER TO BE GRACIOUS IN DEFEAT    Blah Blah Blah.... But we still beat the KIWIS. AND thats what this thread was all About..    So the Proper Score is (1) POMMIES .......................................(2) EMUS, WALLABIES ........(3) kiwis

[Sarge]

What do I want to be I want to be a Wallabie. Proud to be an Aussie, Always have been and always will be. Win, Draw or Lose. Our Aussie's done their best and fought to the bitter end, thats all that one can ask of his country-men. As its not like we came 3rd, now that would be shameful to be runners-up to a Kiwi.

Regards
Sarge One Aussie that never hide his pride.

[knickers]

Come the end of the day it was a great event, who ever won & all in all a bit of the good 'ol inter Tasman rivilery that will never ever go away, was just a good bit of fun.
And like the Aussie's I'm still a proud NZ'er

Well done the Pomes

[-KIWI-]

Two Kiwis boarded a flight out of Sydney after a rugby game. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, an Aussie got on and took the aisle seat.

After take-off, the Aussie kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Kiwi in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer." "No problem," said the Aussie, "I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, one of the Kiwi's picked up the Aussie's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Kiwi said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Aussie obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other Kiwi picked up the other shoe and spat in it. When the Aussie returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Aussie slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked.  "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This  hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes, and pissing in
beers?"

[slim]

I bet the Aussie stirred the beers also ! With his special SPOON....