FE-FC Holden Discussion Forum

i mean no offence by the following jokes, so any blondes out there do not take any offence

i will post 5 jokes per day for----as long as possible  :o

1. A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage
without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the
state trooper arrived.
"My goodness!" the trooper exclaimed "Your car looks like an
accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as
he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was
driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops
up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was
another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!
I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to
the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a
tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener
swinging back and forth."


2. What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

3. A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and
when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take
out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up,
you're next!"

4. Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it,
looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde
hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and
says, "You dummy, it's me!"

5. Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars
on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the
dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"

Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She
jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers.

She then picked up all the money and clothes and
quickly departed.

The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were
watching!"

Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men

cheers
torque

ps:not all jokes will be blonde jokes...just wanted a good topic to start things off

Couple of good ones there young fella. ;D

Cheers
Sarge

Keep ém coming Darcy!
:D