For Sale Jargon translated

[earlyholdenfan]

Found this handy help list for thiose shopping for a new project and it may help with deciphering what sellers really mean!
What statements in classified ads really mean with the real meaning in brackets:
Rough condition- (too bad to lie about)
Some rust- (Some rust holes you can stick your head through... the rest are *big*)
Parts car- (there's a piece of trim is isn't broken, rusted, or missing)
Immaculate- (recently washed)
Concours- (recently waxed)
Engine quiet- (uses 90-weight oil)
Needs engine work- (needs engine)
Needs minor overhaul- (needs total restoration)
Needs major overhaul- (needs to be put out of its misery)
Burns no oil- (it all leaks out)
Rebuilt engine- (Cleaned the spark plugs)
Drive it away- (I live on a hill)
Drive it anywhere- (On the back of a wrecker)
Desirable classic- (No one wants it)
Rare classic- (No one wanted it, even when it was new)
Stored 20 years- (in a farmers field)
Ran when stored- (so did the Titanic, and it has better odds of running now)
Never apart- (Bolts too rounded to loosen)
Solid as a rock- (Rusted solid)
Restored with 0 miles- (Won't start)
Restored with 2 miles- (Won't stay running)
Older restoration- (First owner washed it)
Good investment- (Can't be worth much less)
No time to restore it- (Can't obtain parts)
95% complete- (Other 5% doesn't exist)

Cheers
Matt   ;D